Do It Anyway
“It’s scary, but do it anyway”
I bought a little calendar at Aldi the other day that has all these motivational quotes for each day. I figured, maybe this will help pull me out of my slump? I don’t know if it’s the zodiac affect (where everything is so vague that of course it can easily be related back to your life and just what you needed to hear), but it was exactly what I needed to hear. I’ve been thinking about launching my own business and it terrifies me. Mainly because I’m not the greatest at actually finishing ideas. I get these ideas, I go ALL in, I get over excited and put all my energy into it, only to then drop it before it’s even finished. I’ve analyzed myself doing this over and over again and I’m pretty sure it’s this complete fear of failure. That or perfection. So once I realize it won’t be perfect or I’ve deemed myself as not “good” at it, I just give up and say “eh, maybe this isn’t for me”. And that’s that. Which if you’re thinking well that’s not healthy - you’d be right. It’s completely unhealthy and I’m actively working on it with my new business venture. I’m failing over and over again and hoping that I find little pieces of hope or inspiration along the way to push me through the failures. So when I saw this little message on my calendar, it really struck a cord with me. At first I scoffed and thought “well that’s cheesy”. And then as the day went on, I kept seeing it every time I passed in the kitchen and it kept bringing out different feelings each time. Yes, it is cheesy, but it’s also right. It’s terrifying to give a piece of yourself out into the world, hoping it will be accepted. It’s also terrifying to hear the criticism that comes back with a version of you that’s so raw and pure. It’s some scary shit. It’s vulnerable. It’s uncomfortable. It’s all the things. And it’s also that tiny little bit of reassurance that you must be onto something great. It felt like just the right amount of kick in the pants I needed to remind me to just keep going. It felt personal when I read it. As if something somewhere in the universe knew I needed to read that on that particular day.
What I’ve realized in my grand old 33 years of life on this planet is that people will instill their fears onto you no matter what. I don’t necessarily think these people are negative people either. I think it’s all 100% personal. It’s taking their own fears and projecting them onto you. I even do it to people I don’t even know. “That’s bold”, “That feels like a leap…”, yes, I realize I project my own fears too sometimes. But take it a step further. We aren’t bad or negative people. We’re scared. Leaping out into the world with the mindset of zero limitations - that’s scary! You know what’s not scary? Rules. Set limitations/expectations. Staying in your “lane”. Those are safe. And safe can be good. There’s security in that. There’s a realist mindset in that. But there’s also no life in that. As morbid as it may seem, sometimes if I need that extra motivation or if I’m dwelling on a decision, I think to future me on my deathbed and ask myself - am I looking back at a life really and truly lived? Hills climbed, and battles fought, fallen down branches along the way causing new paths to open? Or am I looking back at a safe, fenced, and well paved road?
So from that small little calendar reading, here’s what I learned. I’ve placed perfection on myself and no longer accept it. I want to finally see something all the way through, even if it scares the absolute shit out of me.
