Who’s Your Saboteur?
We’ve got our enneagrams, our zodiac signs, personality types, and so on and so on and so on… All of these are little online assessments that you can take to better understand your psyche and frankly, why you are the way you are! I personally love all these types of tests. I don’t force myself to fit into the little box that they offer nor do I lean on it to explain away my internal or external conflicts, but rather to better understand myself. Have a bit of an explanation and awareness for what makes me tick. I also think it shines a light on a lot of things that are experienced/thought and makes you feel less crazy. Or maybe more seen? Definitely less alone.
Which brings me to the newest assessment that was brought to my attention. It’s your saboteur assessment. Sounds quite interesting, huh? Let me dive in. So basically the behavior behind this is that we all have a Judge that comes out when we’re facing conflict, feeling anxious, depressed, or literally just there to ruin a good day. The Judge is the one that will wake you up in the middle of the night to remind you of that one conversation you had years ago that was slightly awkward and let you live in that moment for about 3 hours while you try to fall back asleep. The Judge will also remind you of your shortcomings, harp on your mistakes, and fixate on all the wrong things. And when this happens, our Judge tends to bring saboteurs along for the ride. Ya know, just to really kick ya while you’re down. There are 9 total saboteurs - The Avoider, The Controller, The Hyper-Achiever, The Hyper-Rational, The Hyper-Vigilant, The Pleaser, The Restless, The Stickler, and The Victim. All of which are pretty self explanatory in their titles alone, but that’s all the assessment is…assessing? lol Who are your saboteurs, when they come out, why they come out (generally speaking), and feeling/thoughts you have in moments of high stress that stem from each. The ratings are out of 10 and typically each person has 2 or 3 that rank the highest and are most likely your sole saboteurs. We all tend to have a little bit of each, but the lower scoring ones go pretty undetected in our reactions to conflict.
Personally, I really wanted the test to reveal that I sabotage myself in a slightly productive way? Yes, I know, a bit of an oxymoron when you’re talking about something sabotaging your mental health. But hear me out! Like, yeah, hyper-achiever is bad and I can see that really weighing on someone, but also - you’re getting shit done, no? Hyper-rational - same thing. I’d love that my fall back in my mind is to rationalize everything a little too clearly LOL. Don’t worry - I completely understand how that is minimizing the severity of each, but still! They have slight benefits - or benefits to how it’s seen in society at least. But no, instead I got a 10/10 for Pleaser and a 8.9 for both the Victim and and the Hyper-Vigilant. Whoop-dee-freakin-doo.
The description, sadly, rang so true for me! Years of therapy and trying to find exactly what it is that’s making me a certain way and there it is - right there. Although like I said, I am not letting it define me or excusing my bad habits away with a “title”, but I am more self aware when my saboteurs come out to play. And it made me reflect a little bit on why it bothers me so much when I see others play the victim so easily. Or when I see others nonstop people please. Or be hyper-vigilant. It’s the age old - because it’s what bothers me the most about myself. I’m able to easily judge another vs having to face it in the mirror.
So because my cousin so kindly shared this with me, I was able to take a big leap within my mental health and want to pass it along to as many others as I can! Again, not to define/categorize/pigeon-hole yourself, or what have you. But simply to understand. To look at what may have given these saboteurs life from your past (oh yes, they have a childhood section where it may have stemmed from and that was almost like reading my diary haha!), to visualize and truly understand yourself a little more clearly. That’s all I can ask from us. To see the saboteurs coming, hear the justification lies we tell ourselves, take a deep breath, and move a little closer to changing for the better.
Here’s the link for you to go check out your own saboteurs - https://www.positiveintelligence.com/saboteurs/
